Do you control your hurt feelings?

I am learning that no one can hurt my feelings! What did you read that right yes, you did.  I have full control over personalizing this feeling or what they said, or I can look at it as this is another person's opinion or choice.  I spent a few days with my parents and realized that I could take all the things that were said about my one parent by the other parent and personalize them as you can tell I side more with the one than the other. I can hold onto the hurt towards my one parent and the sadness that brought me towards how my other parent was being treated bt; in the end, I needed to realize that both emotions are things I can choose to hold onto or things I let go of.  This story is not to belittle my parents, but one of the more recent events that I could use to demonstrate the meaning behind what I am trying to convey.  
Like the fact that my daughter is feeling hurt, and I could choose to feel pitty and try to change the situation for her, but that would not help her realize this earlier than what I am.   I hope this is starting to make sense as we look deeper into how I was hurt by and acholic parent I can see that I can hold on to the past hurt or I can choose to let go forgive and continue to do so as long as it continues to happen. It's my choice to want something different and be sad because of their choices, or it can be my choice to enjoy the time that we have, whether they are sober or not sober.  It's not something I am good at yet, and to be honest, it feels like it could be forever before I figure this out.  I have a house full of other people that I always want to say he or she made me feel this way, but that's not true. I chose to let them influence me daily.  I can choose to dwell on something that is not the way I like it, or I can change how I look at it and find something that I love and move on to do what I want and what will make me happy. Really I have not totally figured that one out yet either. If you live to be satisfied because of what others do for you for 30 some years, it's hard to figure out what it is that makes you feel happy on your own. Yes, I will not always be satisfied, but it's the fact that I can find a way to enjoy things on my own and with the knowledge that God is where my value is. He is the one who I know will always look at me and say, "I made you I created you before your you felt unworthy I knew you were worthy of more than you will ever think you are worthy of."  He feels this way for you too.
My challenge for you is to ask yourself, what is the one thing that you want to know is true about yourself in a year that you don't believe today?
Mine was that I can overcome the things that have held me back from encouraging others because I hear voices from my past saying I am not good enough.  I want to be confident and hearing the voice saying I am proud of you for...  These same words were spoken by the same person, but I hold onto you can't do that because of these statements more than the positive ones.  Why is this that we do that? I hope to dig deeper into that next time as this is what I am looking into because I like to know the why so that I can figure out how to change it.  For now, I am going to let you ponder these thoughts in what
it is you want to overcome to be a better you in the years to come.