For the last 11 days, my extended family has been dealing with a tragic loss. It has taken me 11 days and a funeral( the hardest funeral I have ever attended, yes this was harder than my own sisters funeral) to come up with words for this. Suicide is hard no matter what but when there are no warning sign or letter it makes it even harder. The loss of a man that has two children in the times that they need a dad the most as early teens and a young adult is beyond comprehension to me. A wife and siblings that are still in complete dismay on how the one that always smiles could do this. I have lost a sibling but as I expressed over the past 11 days for us my sister had a terminal illness that had taken life from her long before her last breath. I have always said the death that is a shock is much harder than the ones expected.
We need to love on everyone we meet not just because we love them but because we don't know the struggle they are having inside. We need to send that prayer or even lay a hand on them whether we know them or not. God calls us not to be quiet about our faith but to live out what love he showed us through Jesus. Jesus has shown us so much that we need to be like-minded for his passion of the people and be willing to speak up about the inappropriate things that are hard to talk about. I have been weighing a few things on my mind lately with all of the things that have been in my path over the past few months and even years God has really been showing things to me that I am not good at and putting new passions in my heart.
The passion is not that of what I can do for my church or what my church does for me but my passion is for those that have struggled with the feeling of not feeling like they are enough. God has to lead me to the door of teen girls dealing with depression, he has brought me to people that have been persecuted by the people that are supposed to be leading them to love others as Christ loves them. I don't know what the road ahead has for me but I do know I have strong convictions to LOVE people for Christ, not for me but that Christ will be known. This past 11 days I too have thought what could I have done from 5hrs away and not having seen this man for years face to face, what more could I have do but then I know that what is done is done and I can't dwell on that, no matter the hurt it causes but that I must step forward with the question "What can I do?".
What can we do? We need to realize that money is not ours, it's not something to strive for it is just part of life that comes and goes. Family good or bad is family and we never know what tomorrow brings. You have a chance to make amends with a family member that is still living, DO IT!! I have seen friends forgive a father that has abused them in ways I can't mention and then complete forgiveness and relationship mended was granted after years of prayer. We need to reach out to those that are hurting and know that the Lord is the only place we can find full peace. I have said in many posts over the past three years how I have had to turn away from finding my value in my husband and others thoughts about me. I learned that I can only find value in "Who God thinks I am!". Song of Song 4:7 is a huge one to hold on to because God finds no fault in us because Christ has died and given up his perfect life that we can come to know heaven. I know that we all view Christianity in different ways but I ask you to truly search what God is calling you to know it as for yourself; not what others tell you it is. 
In the past three years, I have been digging deeper in my faith and had an amazing conversation yesterday that lead me to the point of realizing where I was with my faith 7 years ago and where I have come with it since. I have lost friends to drugs, I have lost friends to depression, I have lost people to Cancer and more but I have gained friends that have up lifted me in my faith and helped me through those tough things. With that today I just want you to know that God is with you and you just need to seek his word. The past 11 days he has brought me verses that I needed at just the right time.
Lord,
I ask that we seek out your word for us today what is it that you are bringing us too, who is it that we are to share your love with and how is it that you want us to look at others. Help us through our lack of understanding that we will know that we are to focus on our race and how to finish it strong for you!
In Jesus Name AMEN
